What could happen to motoring in 2022 (but definitely won't)

What could happen to motoring in 2022 (but definitely won’t)

Ineos boss Sir Jim Ratcliffe is forced to defend the Britishness of the new Grenadier at the launch event for the off-roader. “Sure, it was engineered in Austria, is built in France and uses engines sourced from BMW in Germany, but aside from that it’s entirely British in every way, shape and form,” he says while munching on apple strudel, macaron and pretzel canapés.

March

After months of build-up and anticipation for the radically new Formula 1 cars that have been designed to produce better racing, the season-opening Bahrain Grand Prix is a soporific procession, with Mercedes-AMG’s Sir Lewis Hamilton leading home Red Bull’s Max Verstappen. F1 fans on social media immediately call for the old rules package to be reintroduced.

Entirely unsurprisingly, the Tesla cyberwurst fails to arrive for its promised production date. Elon Musk blames “production hell”, claiming that making a truly affordable space-dust-based sausage is harder than it looks. Despite the delays, Tesla shares rise at record levels. “I’m rich, just like my spicy sausage,” Musk posts on Twitter while counting his not-really-real Bitcoin.

After the success of the hastily arranged 2021 Extreme E season finale in Dorset, bosses of the electric SUV championship decide to stage every 2022 event in the UK. “Extreme E’s ethos was to race in bleak locations ruined by humans, and we’ve found that with this calendar,” says series boss Alejandro Agag. The season begins with a night race at half past two on a Saturday morning in Newcastle city centre, before heading to the new Amazon warehouse in Rochdale, the M25 at evening rush hour and then around every single roundabout in Milton Keynes.

The organisers of the Geneva motor show, which isn’t to be confused with the sister event Qatar Geneva motor show, announce a range of other spin-off events. Controversially, the Cocking Geneva motor show is scheduled to take place in a small town close to Goodwood in mid-July. There are also bold plans for an International Space Station Geneva motor show, which Musk immediately announces will be the first attended by both Tesla and SpaceX.

April

Having enjoyed some success selling simpler cars, due to the semiconductor shortage, Ford takes the bold step of reintroducing one of its older cars that was designed to function without computers: the Model T. It immediately becomes the company’s best-seller, largely because it’s the only car that it can actually build.